But Seldom In Life
Walking into a surprise birthday party for yourself a moment after hearing terrible news
Witness monogamous behavior among animals in a zoo or duck pond and recommit to your own mate
Making a solemn resolution while looking down at a framed photograph of a family member you have picked up off your desk
Start a new life after shaving
Have French bread sticking out of the top of a grocery bag.
-leave/listen to voicemails
-finish a cigarette after a few puffs
-extremely fit people drinking lots of alcohol
-no wait time at bars/handed drinks without ordering
-no seat belts
-background actors aren’t mindlessly staring at phones
Have a meeting where the boss says, "Leave us," and everyone but the person he's talking to wordlessly leaves the room.
- Shoot a gun and no one grabs their ears - no one has ear protection and no one’s ears appear to be ringing.
- Pull out a hand gun and shoot someone dead 50 yards away who’s on a roof, behind cover, with a rifle.
Find ideal parking right in front.
Not finish their food.
So hilarious. How about embrace and tear off their clothes as soon as they walk into their house. Who does that?!?
Have sex with their bra on
- hero reluctantly solves one more case on day he is supposed to retire
- he must be a sensitive dad because he makes breakfast for the kids before heading off to school; extra points if it's their favorite pancakes; extra points if the pancakes have faces or look like animals
- ice for drinks must be inserted with tongs from a bucket
- hand wipes mouth or both hands slide down hips before making confession or an embarrassed speech
- tough guy never answers questions
- drunk character has slurred speech and unsteady gait, but the eyes are clear and focused
- in Westerns, you never see a horse poop, or horse poop lying in the streets
I have hung up the phone without saying goodbye many times, but only when I was pissed off at the person on the other end of the line and wanted to make them madder
ALWAYS, when you have removed a bullet from someone, drop it into a metal bowl of some kind so that we can hear the clank.
You could also add - talk to someone while driving and gesture with both hands without any regard to others on the road. Also step into a shower without turning on the water then turning it on when they are inside ( this means the water is freezing).
Cut off your own fingers, for some silly reason.