after reviewing the scientific literature on historical human population genetics and realizing that the nuclear family co-emerged in cultural evolution with western civilization after the early church banned cousin marriage.
start a new life after using a legacy bottle of IPA no longer made by a local microbrew that went out of business as a fragrant beard oil, then learning the technological limits of cheap spritzer bottles from drug store chains.
Playing back answering machines in a movie where people walk around with cellphones is oxymoronic. And how about conversations where both people aren't constantly drifting off into incoming text messages or typing them?
- hero reluctantly solves one more case on day he is supposed to retire
- he must be a sensitive dad because he makes breakfast for the kids before heading off to school; extra points if it's their favorite pancakes; extra points if the pancakes have faces or look like animals
- ice for drinks must be inserted with tongs from a bucket
- hand wipes mouth or both hands slide down hips before making confession or an embarrassed speech
- tough guy never answers questions
- drunk character has slurred speech and unsteady gait, but the eyes are clear and focused
- in Westerns, you never see a horse poop, or horse poop lying in the streets
My husband is always smiling at me because no matter what, my shirt goes on the rack, my heels in the protective box and hat and blazer in the suitcase against dust and his too😄
(Then I’ll remind him that it’s a very economical approach to care so much about belongings and then I’ll guess he just finds he has to agree, he’s a tax accountant 😂
You could also add - talk to someone while driving and gesture with both hands without any regard to others on the road. Also step into a shower without turning on the water then turning it on when they are inside ( this means the water is freezing).
Eat to-go Chinese food out of white containers with chopsticks. OR look into the mirror, pick up a pair of scissors, and cut off large chunks of your hair to signal a mental breakdown.
I have hung up the phone without saying goodbye many times, but only when I was pissed off at the person on the other end of the line and wanted to make them madder
Witness monogamous behavior among animals in a zoo or duck pond and recommit to your own mate
after reviewing the scientific literature on historical human population genetics and realizing that the nuclear family co-emerged in cultural evolution with western civilization after the early church banned cousin marriage.
🤣🤣🤣
Walking into a surprise birthday party for yourself a moment after hearing terrible news
Or just walk into a surprise birthday party as an adult.
Making a solemn resolution while looking down at a framed photograph of a family member you have picked up off your desk
Start a new life after shaving
I have this unhealthy cycle where I grow out my mustache for a few weeks, shave, and change personality.
start a new life after using a legacy bottle of IPA no longer made by a local microbrew that went out of business as a fragrant beard oil, then learning the technological limits of cheap spritzer bottles from drug store chains.
Have French bread sticking out of the top of a grocery bag.
Bonus points if on a bicycle with little basket.
And not a modern bicycle, but the kind they always have in French movies.
💯
Well, I have walked out of a store with my baguette bulging from my bag. But never to the sound of an accordion playing....
That describes, like, an ordinary weekday in France. People do do that here
and elsewhere in Europe. Yum! fresh warm bread
There must also be a bunch of parsely or other greens as well ..
-leave/listen to voicemails
-finish a cigarette after a few puffs
-extremely fit people drinking lots of alcohol
-no wait time at bars/handed drinks without ordering
-no seat belts
-background actors aren’t mindlessly staring at phones
Playing back answering machines in a movie where people walk around with cellphones is oxymoronic. And how about conversations where both people aren't constantly drifting off into incoming text messages or typing them?
Have a meeting where the boss says, "Leave us," and everyone but the person he's talking to wordlessly leaves the room.
Ordering from a menu after glancing at it for just a second or two, or without looking at it at all.
- Shoot a gun and no one grabs their ears - no one has ear protection and no one’s ears appear to be ringing.
- Pull out a hand gun and shoot someone dead 50 yards away who’s on a roof, behind cover, with a rifle.
Guns need their own category for something like this.
-Disarming someone faster than they can squeeze the trigger.
Getting shot at by fifty people and not getting hit, but killing everyone else with one bullet
This is my personal favorite. Just watched London has Fallen over the weekend and it was ridiculous (but I still enjoyed the movie).
Firearms really do deserve their own category!
The "hammer cocking" sound effect for Glocks is apparently universal.
Handling a handgun results in a bunch of little clicking noises even though no part of the gun is being manipulated
The scene in Terminator 2 in the elevator
- hero reluctantly solves one more case on day he is supposed to retire
- he must be a sensitive dad because he makes breakfast for the kids before heading off to school; extra points if it's their favorite pancakes; extra points if the pancakes have faces or look like animals
- ice for drinks must be inserted with tongs from a bucket
- hand wipes mouth or both hands slide down hips before making confession or an embarrassed speech
- tough guy never answers questions
- drunk character has slurred speech and unsteady gait, but the eyes are clear and focused
- in Westerns, you never see a horse poop, or horse poop lying in the streets
You a cop?! 😂
Find ideal parking right in front.
Not finish their food.
eats eggs over easy, but doesn't sop up the runny yellow yoke with some white bread toast
Have sex with their bra on
And sleep with their bra on! Seriously! What woman doesn't toss that thing as soon as she's home!?
And my Spanx! Best part of the day!
Oh hell yes! How you gonna get home without touching 2nd base.
More comfy to roll around the bed with the bra on. (voice of experience)
ALWAYS, when you have removed a bullet from someone, drop it into a metal bowl of some kind so that we can hear the clank.
So hilarious. How about embrace and tear off their clothes as soon as they walk into their house. Who does that?!?
Ripping underwear and popping buttons off good shirts is another good one.
My husband is always smiling at me because no matter what, my shirt goes on the rack, my heels in the protective box and hat and blazer in the suitcase against dust and his too😄
(Then I’ll remind him that it’s a very economical approach to care so much about belongings and then I’ll guess he just finds he has to agree, he’s a tax accountant 😂
I'm still shaken up by the comment about the Church banning cousin marriage. When did they do that?
Try it. Fun!
You could also add - talk to someone while driving and gesture with both hands without any regard to others on the road. Also step into a shower without turning on the water then turning it on when they are inside ( this means the water is freezing).
Eat to-go Chinese food out of white containers with chopsticks. OR look into the mirror, pick up a pair of scissors, and cut off large chunks of your hair to signal a mental breakdown.
Well, we saw that after Novemebr 5, 2024.
I have hung up the phone without saying goodbye many times, but only when I was pissed off at the person on the other end of the line and wanted to make them madder
I miss slamming down the handset
Yes!!! There should be an app for that!