THINGS PEOPLE DO IN MOVIES
But Seldom In Life
*Have conversations with their back turned to the other person.
*Get up to give a speech and then just walk offstage when they’re done.
*Hang up the phone without saying goodbye.
*Take off an earring while talking on the phone.
*Do that rolling-around-the-bed-thing (like logs) when they’re having sex.
*Have sex against walls, particularly against outdoor, exterior walls.
*Slide down the tiles in the shower into a sitting position, and let the water run over them when they’re upset (sometimes while still clothed).
*Vomit just from hearing information.
*Turn doorknobs really slowly, especially when they suspect someone bad is in the room they’re entering.
*Hit bathroom mirrors with one hand when they’re frustrated.
*Stare at themselves in the mirror when they’re having an epiphany or a breakdown.
*Rip sheets of paper out of typewriters or printers after composing an important letter.
*Laugh maniacally about nothing when they realize the harsh truth of their meaningless lives.